You’re ambitious, intelligent, and driven. But when a promotion you’ve been chasing finally opens up, you’re overlooked. Why can’t you get what you want? And what should you do about it?
You can’t get what you want because of one or more of these reasons: First, you lack clarity and focus. You’re not sure what it is that you want so your path towards it is murky. You lack guidance and could use more direction. Second, you have the desire, but not the means of executing on it. This includes opportunity and chance. Third, you take “no” for an answer thinking that it’s the final word and you give up too easily.
Let’s review these four reasons.
1. You can’t get what you want because you lack clarity and focus.
There’s nothing that kills motivation more than lack of clarity.
Pinpoint exactly what it is that you want, whether it’s that promotion, to lose weight, or to have a healthier lifestyle. Make a list of all the details surrounding this goal.
Next, give yourself a timeline. What is the deadline for accomplishing this goal? A deadline can help narrow down your focus, eliminating any distractions.
To get what you want, you must build relationships, do what you don’t want to do, and get out of your comfort zone.
Most of the time, to get what you want, reach out to people and ask pertinent questions that will lead you to sources of information. Information gathering should be the first step you take if you’re unsure where to start. Just as you can’t see your way in the dark without a flashlight, you can’t know where to start if you don’t have the right information.
2. You can’t get what you want because you have the desire, but not the execution strategy.
You may have the desire for something, but not the right strategy for going after it.
You’re struggling because you don’t feel sure of yourself. You may meet some internal resistance that stops you from taking action. This relates to the previous point of getting out of your comfort zone. You can’t rely solely on ambition, because a lot of people have ambition but can’t execute on it.
What you need is a detailed plan with all the steps needed to execute it. The more detailed, the better. Don’t leave anything up to chance or ambiguity, because this is where you will trip up and make you forget what it is you’re going after. Once you envision your roadmap, it will be much easier to follow it to get what you want.
3. You take “no” for an answer and you give up too easily.
A common roadblock is that you don’t know how to ask for what you want, so you avoid asking for it altogether. Preparation is key. Timing is also crucial. There’s a good and a bad time to ask.
But let’s say you ask and the answer is a resounding “no.” Rejection is painful. So much so that you may get too discouraged, give up altogether and not even try again to ask for what you want. Or you don’t want to inconvenience anyone with your request.
I can relate to being told “no”, and quietly accepting this as the final word. In hindsight, I realize that it’s not an excuse for giving up.
But you must know that “no” doesn’t mean “never.” It may just mean “not right now.”
But you might say, “Ask and ye shall receive” may be too simple, too easy. Other factors besides asking come into play, and you’d be right.
You don’t want a year to pass by and realize that your career has stalled or grown stagnant. You want to grow, don’t you?
4. You can’t get what you want because you don’t desire it enough.
The single most motivating factor to achieving a goal is wanting something badly enough that you won’t give up until you get it. Re-evaluate whether your goal aligns with your desires. Once you are clear on that, take action instead of waiting for the opportunity to present itself, because if you do, you might be waiting forever.
These are the key reasons why you can’t get what you want, and the solution to each. It might not be easy to follow all of them, and the path to where you want to be may be winding with uncertainty. Eliminating these obstacles requires planning and strategizing. Go out there and chase after your dreams. Go after what you want, but be strategic about it.